What's in a name?

If you're not in the radio biz you might not know that there are some mass firings going on courtesy of two huge broadcasting companies, Clear Channel and Cumulus. This has become a regular twice yearly event as the companies try and cut costs so they can pay off the giant debt they've accrued with the venture capitol people so they CAN BUY MORE RADIO STATIONS! In this day and age of digital alternatives to local radio you would think the station owners would do the smart thing and become more locally relatable than ever. But NOOOOO! They are sacking longtime air talent for cheap network, syndicated, or voice tracked programming. The kind of programming that can't even look out the window and tell us it's raining where we live because it's coming from someplace else.

I am equally amazed at the buzz phrases these corporations keep coming up with when they want to make you un-employed. For those of you who need a translation for the corporate-speak,....... "right sizing" = You're fired....downsizing = your fired, re-engineering = you're fired" and the curent favorite, "reduction in force=you'te fired!" What;s next?...."employment challenged?"

Broadcasting's other problem is denial. (which contrary to popular belief, is not a river in Egypt)

Most of them seem to think they can put darn near anything on the air and it will be a success. Stations are acting like they didn't have competition from iphones, ipads, ipods, Pandora, etc. All of these gadgets are pretty neat but none of them can look out the window and TELL YOU IT'S RAINING!

I remember fondly the days when radio was a business but not a BUSINESS!!!!!!!

The radio industry is rapidly losing it's soul.

A new philosophy

Over the past year and a half or so I've developed a new political philosophy. Stated very simply it is, "I'm pissed at everybody." Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Tea Partiers, Underwater Basket Weavers. What is wrong with these people?! Have they all signed a pact to put on the sleaziest, underhanded, misleading, DUMBEST campaigns in the history of American politics?

What's really silly is that because everyone seems to feel it necessary to do nothing but personal attacks on their opponents, that we really have no idea what they stand for, what their plans are, or even WHO they are! This is one NASTY campaign. What ever happened to phrases like "civil discourse' and "politics is the arts of compromise?" Are these candidates just blindly going with the idea that if you are from a different party you are just automatically WRONG?

Heck yeah!

Politics has always attracted a strange breed of people, but this campaign may set a new world record for weirdness. And by the way, could we possibly field a candidate or two that hasn't been accused of a felony? Are these folks the best and brightest America has to offer? If so, we are in big trouble.

I look forward with fear and loathing to the next month of campaign radio and TV spots. (Some of which I understand are actually true)

The more I look at the slate of candidates (Democrats, Republicans, Independents,Tea Partiers, and Underwater Basket Weavers) the more I think there ought to be a place on the ballots for "none of the above."

"Neither Rain nor snow nor.......budget cuts?"

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat of day nor gloom of night shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." The above is often quoted as the motto or creed of the U.S. Postal Service. I guess back in the days when this was originally written, it never occurred to our forefathers to include the words, "budget cuts."

I bring this up because the rumor is the Postal Service is thinking about stopping Saturday deliveries. To that I idea I give a rousing "SO WHAT?" Did you ever get anything even semi important in your Saturday mail? All I get these days (surely due to my advanced age) are invitations to seminars at the local Holiday Inn designed to make me a gazillion dollars with a four buck investment, discount coupons for hearing aids, fliers from AARP, and those freebie local magazines with titles like, Southwest, MetroWest, Northeast, and Up Your Street. Oh, and how could we forget those ubiquitous catalogs from JC Penney? Is there a day goes by when they AREN'T having a sale? (Forget the sales, just give me half the money they spent on catalogs!)

So the Postal Service is considering halting mail delivery on Saturdays.

My question is: Will we be able to tell the difference?

....."and balloons for the kids."

They say that the creatures that have remained virtually unchanged over the centuries are cock roaches and sharks. I think they're missing one creature.......car dealers. They have been selling cars the same way for as long as I (or anyone) can remember. There does seem to be a formula though. First of all have the guy who owns the dealership do the TV commercials rather then a professional announcer. That way they can soothe their egos and make fools of themselves on a regular basis. Secondly, bring in your relatives to REALLY make your commercial look like amateur hour. (and their dogs too!) Thirdly, don't forget you must have a tent sale at least three times a year with a radio remote, face painting, bankers on site, and "balloons for the kids!" Fourthly, (is that a word?) to fit the formula you must do funny things with your arms, i.e. waving, swinging, pointing.

Some day if we all live along enough, we may actually see a TV spot for a car dealer where a professional announcer says you can get a great deal on a good car with no B.S., no stunts, no arm waving, no relatives, and no balloons for the kids at so and so's dealership.

But I doubt it.

They just can't help themselves.

"Swept" away!

It's the merry, merry month of May, or as our friends in TV news like to call it.."sweeps month" And boy are they after those ratings! This is one of the most important rating periods for local TV, and you can tell. How? Well, EVERYTHING is a major crisis......EVERY single news item is BREAKING NEWS! EVERYTHING is being investigated! EVERY story has TEAM COVERAGE! EVERY story gets BIG coverage!(why are these people yelling at us?) One of the more recent screaming matches occurred over THE ECONOMY! The TV folk convinced us we were headed for, or already in a depression. And then...SURPRISE!...we were. Even more recent were the gazillions of stories about the SWINE FLU! WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF A PANDEMIC! RUN FOR THE HILLS! (or at least your nearest drug store)

Please.

You really don't need a calendar these days. Just turn on your TV, and if they are running a special investigative report on the secret sex life of love bugs...it's May! (or November)

Dog Daze (Part IV)

If you, or someone you know is in the market for a great pet, check out the Orange County Animal Services annual adopt-a-thon tomorrow from 10am-2pm. Free food, music, prizes, workshops and some terrific adoptable animals! Details at: http://www.orangecountyfl.net/cms/DEPT/CEsrvcs/animal/adoptions.htm

Dog Daze (Part III)

A quote supposedly attributed to Gandhi says, "You can judge a society by how it treats its animals." If that's the case, sometimes I fear for our society. Imagine this...you're sitting at a traffic light and the car in front of you rolls down it's window and tosses two chihuahuas out! This actually happened. I know because those two dogs ended up at Orange Country Animal Services, where I hope by now they've been adopted by some decent people. I am aghast at what some people will do to these helpless creatures. Cruelty hurts...which just incidentally is the latest campaign from OCAS. Take a look at this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKchGKqGgpA. Some of it is painful to watch but it makes the point.

If you want to know what you can do to help, the answer is simple....if you see signs of cruelty to animals, REPORT IT! Don't let these sleaze bags get away with hurting these innocent creatures.

I'll get down from my soap box now.